My 3-year-old male probably has TOS (language development disorder). This means that his speech does not come naturally. It is a huge challenge to teach him speech. To keep his world orderly, he has an enormous need for fixed patterns. Fortunately, he gets professional help and we get tools to deal with this.

The special thing about a challenge is that there is often a downside. In this case, a huge learning curve. Not only for him but certainly for me as well. I will give you an idea of what I learned as a result and can apply further in my life and work.

There is often a positive upside to a challenge!

✅ Patience

To understand him, to do something according to his familiar pattern, and to make something clear to him, I achieve something fastest by being patient. If I take my time with him and put myself in his shoes, we achieve the most together.

• It is quite possible to teach someone who seems to be trapped in his own world something with patience. Time and patience are essential.

✅ Clearly and concisely convey a message

A jumble of words does not reach my little guy. If I make short sentences and restate the main word separately, my message arrives.

• Too often we want to clarify our story with a mincing of words, hoping to make the other person understand what you mean. It is much more effective to express the core of your message concisely and powerfully.

✅ Nonverbal communication is key

Using sign language, we are teaching our little man to communicate. In the last few weeks, he is making huge leaps and discovering the value of being able to express himself in this way.

• By adding gestures, you make your message audible and visible to the other person. Double a message in one go. Talk about impact.

✅ Learning from all ages

This morning my little son made a gesture I was not familiar with. Because he was pointing to a specific white object, I suspected he was gesturing the color white. After checking in the gesture app, I was confirmed in this. My 3-year-old son was teaching me the meaning of a new gesture! I am so proud of him.

• Very often we want to work and connect with people with experience and knowledge. I myself sometimes make the mistake of thinking that someone must be of a certain age to have the necessary wisdom. Yet it is young people who pick up new things the fastest. This also makes them a valuable source of knowledge.

✅ Don't go too fast

If I want to do something quickly that is contrary to his familiar way of doing things, my son can become extremely sad. The familiar pattern is rudely disrupted. What was safe suddenly gives uncertainty and he cannot put words to it.

• If we want to help someone and we already see the solution ourselves, too often the focus is on that. This can cause you to lose connection with the other person. If you go too fast, causing the other person not to understand you and creating chaos, so to speak, you may not be the safe teacher.

✅ Confirm that you heard the other person.

My son speaks some words and has sounds for other meanings. When he wants to make something clear he repeats this sound until I confirm him with the intended word. This way he gets recognition and confirmation of what he wants to make clear.

• In our communication, repeating the other person's words or summarizing their story can let you know that you have understood the other person.

These are some examples of what I have learned and the translation to the professional world. Besides enjoying his happy presence immensely, I am learning a tremendous amount from my beautiful happy little man.